Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Because This Isn't Mr. Roger's Neighborhood

How do you become friends with someone when you are an adult?

As a kid, it was much easier to befriend random strangers. Like, say, in kindergarten... it was perfectly acceptable to go up to someone and ask him or her if he/she would like to be your best friend. As a twenty-something adult in polite society this is generally not the case.

So while in social situations it is easy to become friends with those around you (work, classes, social groups, volunteering etc) how do you become friends with someone you randomly interact with without looking like a creep, con artist and/ or total douche? I am fairly confident that if someone randomly came up to me and said "will you be my friend", I'd run full speed in the opposite direction screaming "stranger danger"or something of that nature.

I relocated 18 months ago and have not had much luck making meaningful connections in this hellhole I call home. However, the barista at the coffeeshop I frequent seems like the coolest person ever and I want her to be my friend.

I welcome ideas and suggestions. I do not welcome requests to be your friend.


  1. Why don't you just tell her you're new in town and ask her if she knows any cool spots to hang out? Then it's not weird, as long as you keep your tone casual, friendly not weirdo potential stalker.

  2. Oh fuck, I have this same problem. I'm entirely too comfortable being an anti-social asshole. What's worse is when I actually befriend someone I regret it immediately and just want to be left alone.