literally, you suck. isn't it ironic?

i think it is time to school society on the proper usage of the word "literally".

i heard both of the following today:

-"when you lay on this bed you literally hear your muscles go ahhhhh!" (if she can't use the word 'literally' correctly i guess i cant expect much from her in the way of grammar- it's LIE not lay)

-"i was in iraq and it's like another planet. literally, it's another planet."

so evidently my muscles have suddently developed the ability to speak and apparently our space program is keeping secrets from us because iraq, which i thought was in the middle east, is actually not even on planet earth.

and then there is the word ironic. for some reason too many clueless people (probably led by the equally clueless alanis morisette) seem to think that irony is either a simple coincidence or an unfortunate instance. if i run into a friend at the grocery store, that is not ironic. that is a coincidence. if there is a "black fly in [my] chardonay", that just sucks. it is not, however, ironic.

irony is, say, the classic example of the shoemaker's kids having no shoes....or, better yet, something that's ironic is the fact that the people who are reading this probably aren't the people who need to be schooled on irony.

like, literally.